GYM SHORTS FOR FREE BALLING CROTCH CRUSADERS

A Guide to Picking Up Chicks

#1: Musk up.  Smell like her deepest desire.
She a foodie?
Sprinkle a little Dorito dust on the wrists.

 

#2: Throw on your primo pair of dogs.
Ladies love a man that can handle his sapling
over a spiffed-up guy struggling with his spruce.

 

#3: Name drop. Constantly. Start with yourself.
"Coffee, eh?"
"Hi. I'm Tom Foldgers."

The best way to start a relationship is with a bold-face lie. 

 

#4: Pull a Beethoven at the local dog park.
Engage with her dog first.
If she's uninterested, pretend he attacked you.

Threaten to have it destroyed unless she goes on a date with you. 

 

#5: Let the air out of her tires.
Call AAA to fix it.
Show her a relationship with you comes with its perks.

 

#6:  Lower your standards. Aim small, miss small.
"Got your sight set on a 10?
Why not try two 5's or better yet, five 2's?

Lower your standards to raise your stats. 


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