the weekly bird
5 Sure Steps to Self-Improvement in 2015Step 2: Be more positive: drop compliments at work.
Step 1. Do more Cardio: Run a Stadium
Don't run up the stairs.
Unless you're Herschel Walker or a contestant on the biggest loser.
Run the field.
Head to head, field guy wins every time.
Step 2. Be positive: Drop more compliments.
"That little sortie you dropped back there was impressive. I saw at least three double-backs from the bathroom."
"I admire your ability to make another man re-think how long he can hold it."
Compliment the physical appearance of a colleague's wife.
"I never considered myself much of a dog person..."
"...but your wife sure does look handsome."
Step 3. Expand your off-line interests: Spend less time online.
"Haven't been on it for years. The Kappas live next door."
Instead pick an offline hobby. Say astronomy.
Step 4. Walk taller at work: try carrying a big stick.
Sharpen a stick with a small knife at meetings.
If ever questioned about the practice, reply that if the TSA isn't worried about it, nor should they.
Step 5. Commit to comfort: lose the underwear in 2015.
Now that you watched one ball drop, get out there and let your two take that majestic journey of their own.
Summer’s Here. That Means Oxford Birddogs and DWI’ing Golf Carts.
Get Seersucker Birddogs and You'll Marry Into Wealth.
5 Socially Crippling Stories About Our Friends.
Four New Wives Tales You Have Never Heard About.
If The World's Most Interesting Man... Was A Woman.