6 Signs Your Buddy Wears Underwear

How to spot a man with a weak seed.

Sign #1: A weak seed.

How do you spot low fertility? Place a plant on his desk.

Just like the Lion King, the local ecosystem will decline when a true King is not on the throne.

Sign #2: A weak stream.

Keeping the hose in a constant coil means when it's time to do work, the flow won't meet the mission.

Sign #3: Signing emails with an adverb.

If he is closing out emails with sincerely, warmly, or yours truly, he might as well cover his keyboard with a dental dam.

An uncoiled man doesn't need to thank anyone for his correspondence, a simple reply of "done" will suffice.

Sign #4: Swimming in a t-shirt.

Modesty is for North Koreans and Southern Baptists.

Unless he has an inverted aerola, a man should bear arms, chest, and stomach meat.

Sign #5: Overeagnerness to resolve conflict.

If a rift between two commando-clad gents appears to be headed towards a garden variety dust-up...

...your brief-bunched friend will often intervene and take the blow, after which all parties consider the matter settled.

Sign #6: Clearing web-browser history.

Life all balled-up creates a constant state of paranoia that a lady will stumble upon his mash stash.

Liberated men take the Columbus Approach: leave a trail so others can discover a new world of back-alley internet delight.

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