the weekly bird
5 Things to Miss About the Fall (Other than the McRib)
#1: The ongoing romantic tension of Joke Buck and Troy Aikman.#1: The ongoing romantic tension of Joe Buck and Troy Aikman.
#2: Halloween.
America's 2nd Independence Day.
Girls take that to heart on Halloween and dress like Tampa strippers.
Thank you Sexy Dori for staying true to character, and blacking out every 15 min. - our nation is in your debt.
#3: Movember.
No other time of the year can you look like a child molester yet be seen as charitable, stylish, and noble.
#4: Thanksgiving.
Nothing better than getting privately drunk and masturbating in the bedroom you grew up in.
#5: Charity Gala Season (Tuxedo parties thrown by the very rich and unhappy for a cause nobody really cares about.)
If you're going to wake up hungover and depressed, mine as well do it with a girl who's family owns monogrammed towels.
MORE HEAT
Ok So Pants Are Backlogged: Here's Why It's Mark Cuban's Fault
Summer’s Here. That Means Oxford Birddogs and DWI’ing Golf Carts.
Get Seersucker Birddogs and You'll Marry Into Wealth.
5 Socially Crippling Stories About Our Friends.
Four New Wives Tales You Have Never Heard About.