Troubling Trends in the Modern Man

Artisanal Microbrews: Beer shouldn't be treated like a pair of panties to be sniffed and savored. 
Here at Birddogs Shorts, we pride ourselves in staying up to date on the latest trends.
We're modern day dandies.

But some trends we just find troubling. 


Troubling Trend #1: New Age Nutrition.
Gluten-free, free-range, and farm-to-table sounds like a recipe for sexual neutrality.


At Birddogs, we like our diet like we like our 90's Era Baseball. Full of steroids, hormones, and lots of beef.


Troubling Trend #2: Artisanal Microbrews.
Beer should not be treated like a pair of panties to be sniffed and savored.


If you're looking to date your beer, be a gentleman and take her on a date.

Otherwise a 12-pack of Bud Ice should work just fine.


Troubling Trend #3: The Deep V.
A quality V-Neck may show off your sternum to the ladies...


...but a good chest is nothing novel.
A good crotch, on the other hand, should be paraded for all to see.


Troubling Trend #4: Beard Baubles.
For those with a severe case of "rape face" hiding behind a beard or a fence makes sense.


But there is a difference between laying down some face grass and decorating it with lawn ornaments.

Nobody wants a mustache ride if there are knick-knacks all over the seat.


How's this for being on-trend?
We just launched an all-white pair, just in time for winter.