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Birddogs Party Makes New York Post

Patriotism So Deep It Caught Fire.
So our 4th of July Party may have gotten a little out of hand.

big house party


Even the local media took note of the event.

Rager at Kevin Sorbos Hamptons home

In our defense, it was entirely Kevin Sorbo's fault. 
90's TV Stars are notorious for having odd rules when renting their estates.


The Rental Agreement was very clear:

rental agreement


Sorbo Requirement #1: All Parties Must be a "rager."

rager party

Girls on stilts, midgets on bottles, a 90's hip-hop star and enough champagne to feed the French for a year did the trick.


Sorbo Requirement #2: All Tees Must be Wet.
Double check.

popping champagne


Sorbo's Byzantine rules got people a little too fired up.
The enthusiasm soon burst into flames.

fire in distance

At first, folks were pretty calm about the blaze.


But the usual tactics of spraying down the fire with champagne proved ineffective.

fire being put out

The Fire Department had no choice but to shut it down.


See you at the next one.
We suggest arriving on time.

man laying on ground


Jokes written for us. But you're welcome to read.