the weekly bird
6 Glorious Stories of Guys Getting Dumped.
Dump #1: She said I had "pickle toes".
Also she was slamming another dude.
Dump #2: I got dumped in 8th grade because I thought it was pronounced "Cold Slaw."
Dump #3: I put on 15 lbs heading into Spring Formal. My friend said I looked like Mr. Peanut.
Everyone laughed and my girlfriend stared at her feet.
Dump #4: She created a spreadsheet with an itemized list of everything wrong with me.
It was thorough and very accurate.
Dump #5: I got dumped on a Disney cruise ship holding a Good Humor Fat Frog.
Dump #6: Via fax.