the weekly bird
5 Misses That Kept Me A Virgin Until I Was 23.
Miss #1: We were in the backseat removing our clothes when I accidentally kicked the shift lever and sent the car rolling down the hill.
Miss #2: Did a split on the dance floor at Senior Prom.
Miss #3: Was watching a movie at her place and got the tum rums. I clogged and flooded her toilet.
Miss #4: Was driving to her place when I got a text that half the football team was tipping cows.
Miss #5: Was deep into some heavy petting in her basement, but her punk brother said he wouldn't leave until he finished the complete Lord of the Rings Trilogy.