the weekly bird
7 Middle School Rumors You Just Couldn't ShakeDoesn't matter if it's true if enough people say it.
Rumor #1: Told my entire class that Gavin got AIDS when his family went to Portugal.
Everyone's parents called in a panic demanding that he only be allowed to use the bathroom in the nurse's office.
Rumor #2: Told everyone my buddy Scott had his period.
Turns out nobody knew what a period was so they kept spreading the rumor to not sound stupid.
Rumor #3: I dusted up a gay witch hunt on Jimmy Connor.
Nobody beats out Stan Hudson for JV catcher and walks away clean.
Rumor #4: I convinced everyone in the 7th grade that Ms. Norris didn't have knees.
Rumor #5: Stevie was the first kid to sprout facial hair so I called him a Werewolf on the bus ride to Six Flags.
Apparently it stuck, kid got howls at senior commencement.
Rumor #6: Found out Ashley B. had a crush on Tommy so I told everyone he kept a hit list in his lunchbox.
He threw a chair at the kid that told the teacher.
Rumor #7: I convinced my kid brother he was going to nut himself out of existence.
Told him it was a scientific fact that each time you beat it you got a little bit shorter.
Caught him measuring himself after we watched Boogey Nights.
Apartment Decorating Tips: Prepping Your Pad to Put Her At Ease
The Ones That Didn't Make it
The Latest Khaki Birddogs That Will Relax Your Responsibilities Away.
American Made Gym Shorts.
How To Drink At Work and Not Get Fired.