Skip to main content
0

Shorts

Pants

the weekly bird

Twas the Night Before Christmas

A Birddogs take on a holiday classic. 

Twas the night before a Birddogs Christmans

Twas the night before Christmas when all through my jock. Gremlins were stirring. And they were brandishing rocks.

My under-stockings were jammed up my heat-seat so far. It felt like the 4th Fleet had just landed, And my ass was the bar.

I tried powders and lotions, tonics and paste, even a Tickle Me Elmo so I could sit on its face. No matter the trick, I applied to my trade, my package was left swollen, chocked, and unshaved.

When what to my wandering inbox appeared, but a note from Birddogs Shorts, calling itself a crotch pioneer.

As I scrolled through the website I let out a cheer. My problem was solved by the shorts of the year.

I whistled and shouted, and read the names aloud. Oh Thrusters, Oh Dusters, Oh yea Key Limes. Look at the Ironsides, and Herefords, this looks like a solid find, Ive finally found a company that can read my thunders mind

No longer a slave to the undergarmet I wore, my little lion was free, ready to roar.

MORE HEAT

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN WASN’T THE ONLY INVENTOR AROUND
THE LEGEND OF STAFF SERGEANT TED DUNGEE
COACH RICK: THE LITTLE LEAGUE COACH YOU DON’T WANT NEAR YOUR KIDS
TALES OF POWERFUL NUT SLAPS
A Few Times We Got Beat Up in High School

Shorts From the Simpsons Favorite Dweeb

The Merch

Help

Follow Us

If you don't we'll auction off your browser history.