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How to Pump the Brakes on A Relationship

If you've already rounded the bases, nothing pumps the breaks like a hard stop at first. 
#1: Move it backwards in the bedroom.
If you've already rounded the bases, nothing pumps the brakes like a hard stop at first.

messy kiss

Just shut up and French Kiss me. 


#2: When sending a Valentine's Day Card, the personal inscription says it all.
Stick to the facts.
Your name is enough.

index card that says Kyle


#3: Try tossing a little ice on her family ties.
HER:  "So I was thinking we cut your hair short for my brother's wedding!"
YOU:  "Wait..You have a brother?!?"

man with facial hair


#4: If she tries to have the "define-the-relationship talk", get real meta on her.
HER:  " would you define "us"?

Neil Degrasse Tyson universe


#5: Nothing says Valentine's Day Dinner like an all-you-can-eat buffet.
If she complains, ask her:
"Are you so rich that you can turn down unlimited food at a decent price?"



#6:  Make it clear you're letting yourself go.  Health is a great place to start.
"Babe, I'm starting to get a little concerned about this itch.  How do I tell if it's nested or just passing through?"

man on couch


#7: Send a half-eaten box of chocolates.
An entire box would look over eager.
Do her a favor and cut out half the calories for her.

half eaten box of chocolates


#8: Take her star gazing.
Don't be afraid to overshare.
"Don't you ever wonder who you'll end up with?"

people looking at stars



Jokes written for us. But you're welcome to read.