Skip to main content

Guide to Being a Great Step Dad

Dad drinking a beer while rubbing his stepsons head.
Step #1: Get an aggressive pair of Oakleys.
Every stepdad in history wears Oakleys.
Dad looking aggressive in his Oakleys.
Step #2: Never learn the name of your step kids friends.
Just their worst characteristics.
Is that the fat kid with the beret or the effeminate singer?
Step #3: Christmas is too expensive for some else's kid.
Easter is the value play. Chocolate is cheap and plentiful.
Stepson stuffing face with Peeps.
Step #4: Let your step kids know you're taking care of Mommy.
Give 'em $20 so they can go the the movies or whatever.
Hey boys, go have some fun while I take care of your mother.
Step #5: Let the air out of the real dad's tires.
When he shows up late, comment on how he's never really there for the kids and always makes up excuses.
Slashing his electric scooter tires.
Step #6: Let the real dad know his ex-wife has gotten into shape.
Did you teach her that thing where she's upside down and then...Well I probably don't need to tell you that right? /></div>
<p> </p>