Guide to Being a Great Step Dad

Step #1: Get an aggressive pair of Oakleys.

Every stepdad in history wears Oakleys.

Step #2: Never learn the name of your step kids friends.

Just their worst characteristics.

Step #3: Christmas is too expensive for some else's kid.

Easter is the value play. Chocolate is cheap and plentiful.

Step #4: Let your step kids know you're taking care of Mommy.

Give 'em $20 so they can go the the movies or whatever.

Step #5: Let the air out of the real dad's tires.

When he shows up late, comment on how he's never really there for the kids and always makes up excuses.

Step #6: Let the real dad know his ex-wife has gotten into shape.

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