Guide to Being a Great Step Dad

Step #1: Get an aggressive pair of Oakleys.
Every stepdad in history wears Oakleys.
Step #2: Never learn the name of your step kids friends.
Just their worst characteristics.
Step #3: Christmas is too expensive for some else's kid.
Easter is the value play. Chocolate is cheap and plentiful.
Step #4: Let your step kids know you're taking care of Mommy.
Give 'em $20 so they can go the the movies or whatever.
Step #5: Let the air out of the real dad's tires.
When he shows up late, comment on how he's never really there for the kids and always makes up excuses.
Step #6: Let the real dad know his ex-wife has gotten into shape.