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5 Ways to Become an Office Legend in the Bathroom

#2: Work rival on a hot streak? Shell shock him on the shitter.
#1: Urinals were designed to keep the line down.
Pants are the rumble strips of the tinkle turnpike.
 Winnie the Pooh it.

Butters from South Park

Take it from a bear that can fit his whole first in a jar of honey, don't let anything come between you and relief. 

Winnie the Pooh


#2: Have a work rival on a hot streak?
Shell shock him in his place of easement.

Hey do we have Columbus day off this year

Rob a man of the ability to park his breakfast in peace and you'll own him for life. 


#3: If that doesn't work, Mic drop it.

cartoon poop in toilet

No greater power move than having someone else clean your dirty dishes.


#4: Become an office legend overnight.  Give 'em a wet back.

man pooping in urinal

man reading newspaper in bathroom


#5: Need to huck the turd saw without your coworkers knowing you're the carpenter?

Michael Scott leaving bathroom

Avoid the feet creep and pull a Shawshank.
Keep a pair of square-toed Aldo's in a drawer for trips to and from the office chunder box for a little anal anonymity.

man walking down street

Really. How often do you look at a man's shoes?



Jokes written for us. But you're welcome to read.