the weekly bird
Office Poll: What's Your Spirit Animal?
Peter's Spirit Animal: Pubic Lice
Not because I want to be near genitals, but because they have a strong sense of community.
Sam's Spirit Animal: Penguin
I'd be a penguin because they are known to be gay and I feel like that characteristic would carry over for me.
Chris' Spirit Animal: Carrot
Sometimes when I'm home alone I like to go out in my garden and cover myself with dirt and pretend I'm a carrot.
Jack's Spirit Animal: Snake
Snakes and lizards have not one, but two members called "hemipenes."
Kyle's Spirit Animal: Ant
I'd be an ant so I could get inside anything. Maybe a syrup bottle or a juice pitcher.
Karl's Spirit Animal: Komodo Dragon
Because I'm fat, gross, and into Asians.
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Call For Dick Hertz and Other Pranks We Regret From Childhood.
Why Aren’t BBQs Called Meat-N-Greets and Other Word Improvements.