the weekly bird
Sam the Intern Kept a Dream Journal Last YearEvery morning he'd wake up and write down his dreams. Here are the highlights.
Monday May 5th, 2017:
Marathon watched The Sopranos and got a little too torqued.
I woke up and had a wet dream.
Meg asked, "What is this wetness?"
I told her I spilled seltzer water and to not worry about it.
Tuesday November 26th, 2017:
Heard a knock at the door.
Answered it and turned out a giant nut-sack was banging up against it.
Friday March 19th, 2017:
Had a dream that instead of being stung by a jellyfish and peeing on it,
I stung a jellyfish and he peed on me.
Also, when I woke up I was peeing in Karl's hamper.
Thursday April 12th, 2017:
I dreamt I got pulled over by the cops for speeding.
When I opened the glove compartment...
Does this mean I'm gay? I'm not gay.
Think Kim Kardashian's Smut to Stardom Was the Original? Please, Jim Jordashian Wrote the Playbook.
It's Snowing Steve Irwin (RIP). Put On Some Pants and Stay Alive.
5 Misses That Kept Me A Virgin Until I Was 23.
Call For Dick Hertz and Other Pranks We Regret From Childhood.
Why Aren’t BBQs Called Meat-N-Greets and Other Word Improvements.