The 7 Taller Tales of Paul Bunyan

We made Oxford Birddogs and Paul won't shut up about 'em. 
#1: Paul Bunyan was gay.
(How awesome is that?!?)
Paul was a merry man.  High on LSD, ripping trees and having a blast.
#2: Babe, unfortunately, was a total a$$hole.
Guy was actually too aggressive. One time Doc Holiday told him to chill out.
#3: Paul met Babe outside a saloon called the Jack Rabbit.
Paul made a pass at him in the bathroom stalls where Babe was ripping a line of hoof dust.
Paul asked Babe if he'd ever seen Boogey Nights.
Babe was really uncomfortable.
#4: Together, they threw the first rave.
They cleared out a Playa between California and Utah and called it Nevada.
#5: Paul got kicked out of the casual-love cabin at the rave.
(He had asparagus for lunch).  
He lost his cool and torched the place.
And that was the first Burning Man.
#6: Paul and Babe spiked Chief Seattle's peace pipe with Peyote.
They wrote "balls" on his forehead.  He didn't notice it for 3 years.
The guy literally raped and pillaged most of the Northwest Territory with balls on his forehead.
#7: Paul has an estranged 2nd Cousin from Texas named Shanty Boy.
Paul kicked him out of the enchanted forest after he kept wiping himself with live beavers.


Big men doing big things in a big country.