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Gym shorts company gets absolutely destroyed in customer reviews

 People describe the first time they put on a pair of Birddogs. 
What are Birddogs like?
Put 'em on, got so amped I punished two boxes of Gushers. Woke up at 3am and cat barfed in my terrarium. These things suck.
What are Birddogs like?
Got 'em for a workout. Immediately abandoned that though and decided to touch myself on a recliner and marathon watch Xena Warrior Princess.
What are Birddogs like?
Ripped 'em from the package and hucked 'em down the garbage disposal. Tore 'em to bits, exactly as expected.
What are Birddogs like?
Felt like I was swimming butt naked in the Adriatic after four Michelob Ultras.
What are Birddogs like?
Put on the liner and it felt like I slipped my entire arm in a tin of mashed potatoes.
What are Birddogs like?
I filed Birddogs' taxes last year. They blew $10,000 on a live baboon to re-create the Lion King because they wanted to 'get it right'

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