the weekly bird
What Useless Gift Are We Giving Out This Year? Glad You Asked.
Q: What's the tensile strength of these babies?
A: Super duper high. You could bet your life on these nunchucks, and we recommend you doing so.
Q: Do you guys still plan on cybering with curious, anonymous men? (Asking for a friend).
A: Get your head out of the gutter Bullwinkle. We've got nunchucks.
Q: What's the fastest way to take someone down with these nunchucks?
A: Easy. The eyes - the groin of the face.
Q: I've got a group of unruly 3rd graders trying to sort out who's the alpha of the pack. Can I buy these in bulk?
A: Sure thing. How many little warriors are there?
Q: Isn't someone going to seriously hurt themself?
A: Nunchucks don't hurt people, 20-something males with limited options on a Friday night do.
5 Misses That Kept Me A Virgin Until I Was 23.
Call For Dick Hertz and Other Pranks We Regret From Childhood.
Why Aren’t BBQs Called Meat-N-Greets and Other Word Improvements.
Office Poll: What's Your Spirit Animal?
Negotiating Tactics for Guys Who Use the Word Mufflebags.