Birddogs Makes Offer to Buy Chubbies Shorts

We heard Chubbies was short on cash, so we're tossing 'em a lifeboat.
Term #1: Offer Price
Birddogs Inc. offers $100k plus a mint condition* Darren Daulton rookie card.
*His mullet is in mint condition, not the card.
Term #2: Form of Payment
This is an all-cash offer, payment will be rendered via sacks of coins with big dollar signs a la Duck Tales.
Term #3: Name of Combined Entity will be "ChubDogs."
(Not to be confused with the website I made in college that featured pictures of slightly obese dogs).
Term #4: Birddogs will retain ALL Chubbies employees.
They will be assigned to our side business.
Term #5: Zero tolerance on step-dad behavior.
Outbursts by Chubbies employees that Birddogs will, "never be my real dad" will result in the loss of video game privileges for 2 weeks.