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{"id":3679251857483,"title":"Steel Magnolias","handle":"steel-magnolias","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eShorts for guys who date grandmas only. 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Dating millennials is played out, these shorts are for guys going after the greatest generation.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eA younger woman wants a guy with goals and plans. But GILFs and young studs share the same 5-year plan: don't die.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e"}
{ "related_products_expanded": false, "preorder_product": "4569219858507", "preorder_message": "\u003cp style=\"color: #f3776d; font-size:18px; line-height: 1;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThese went fast.\u003cbr \/\u003eNext batch ships October 16th.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e", "preorder_message_mobile": "\u003cp style=\"color: #f3776d; font-size:18px; line-height: 1;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThese went fast.\u003cbr \/\u003eNext batch ships October 16th.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e" ,"collection_handle": "khaki", "related_products": [{"id":4975771076,"title":"Uncle Bucks","handle":"the-uncle-bucks","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eThe world's first khaki gym shorts.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eEvery family has an Uncle Buck,\u003cbr\u003ehe's the guy that thinks a 401k is a type of motor oil.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eHere's \u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.birddogs.com\/blogs\/the-weekly-bird\/the-worlds-first-khaki-gym-shorts-the-uncle-bucks\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-color: #3e4561;\"\u003e5 more facts\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e on Uncle Buck.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e","published_at":"2020-06-23T08:50:32-04:00","created_at":"2016-05-24T21:50:06-04:00","vendor":"Birddogs","type":"Shorts","tags":["fb_category_528","khaki","shorts"],"price":6495,"price_min":6495,"price_max":6495,"available":true,"price_varies":false,"compare_at_price":null,"compare_at_price_min":0,"compare_at_price_max":0,"compare_at_price_varies":false,"variants":[{"id":19502368388,"title":"Small \/ Short: 6\"","option1":"Small","option2":"Short: 6\"","option3":null,"sku":"UB-A108-S-S","requires_shipping":true,"taxable":false,"featured_image":null,"available":true,"name":"Uncle Bucks - Small \/ Short: 6\"","public_title":"Small \/ Short: 6\"","options":["Small","Short: 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16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eThe world's first khaki gym shorts.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eEvery family has an Uncle Buck,\u003cbr\u003ehe's the guy that thinks a 401k is a type of motor oil.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eHere's \u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.birddogs.com\/blogs\/the-weekly-bird\/the-worlds-first-khaki-gym-shorts-the-uncle-bucks\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-color: #3e4561;\"\u003e5 more facts\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e on Uncle 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Dating millennials is played out, these shorts are for guys going after the greatest generation.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eA younger woman wants a guy with goals and plans. But GILFs and young studs share the same 5-year plan: don't die.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e"}] ,"learnq": { "categories": ["##Loop Shorts - AUTO","All Shorts","Khaki Shorts"], "image_url": "https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0317/6849/products/Gym-Shorts-Steel-Magnolias-Gray-Khaki-Birddogs-Main-white-shadow_grande.jpg?v=1595877187", "url": "https://www.birddogs.com/products/steel-magnolias", "price": "\u003cspan class=\"money conversion-bear-money\"\u003e$64.95\u003c\/span\u003e", "compare_at_price": "\u003cspan class=\"money conversion-bear-money\"\u003e$0.00\u003c\/span\u003e" } }
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The story begins

3 Reasons You Should Date Your Buddy's Grandma

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#1: Single moms have bratty teens with attitudes.

Grandmothers have grown children with timeshares.

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#2: A bad performance in bed with a girl your own age usually ends with her telling rumors.

A bad performance with an old-timer usually ends with her telling you about her kids.

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#3: All younger women share the same 5-year plan: marry rich and travel the world.

All older women and young studs share the same 5-year plan: don't die.

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