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{"id":1545073885259,"title":"The Lady Massengills","handle":"the-lady-massengills","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eDouchebag shorts for douchebag guys who take shirtless mirror selfies of their abs and have a Chinese character tattoo that means “Dan Bilzerian”.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eOrder one size too small to accentuate your leg gains.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e","published_at":"2019-05-10T16:57:16-04:00","created_at":"2019-03-25T19:55:38-04:00","vendor":"Birddogs","type":"Athletic Shorts","tags":["oxford","shorts"],"price":5995,"price_min":5995,"price_max":5995,"available":false,"price_varies":false,"compare_at_price":null,"compare_at_price_min":0,"compare_at_price_max":0,"compare_at_price_varies":false,"variants":[{"id":14057680207947,"title":"Small \/ Short: 6\"","option1":"Small","option2":"Short: 6\"","option3":null,"sku":"NO-B118-S-S","requires_shipping":true,"taxable":false,"featured_image":null,"available":false,"name":"The Lady Massengills - 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Why Built-in Underwear Is Better

The story begins

Why Built-in Underwear is Better

Underwear is uncomfortably tight

Underwear is uncomfortably tight

It's like tying down a circus elephant who's been refusing his oats

It's like tying down a circus elephant who's been refusing his oats

It has to be that way. If we don't tie this wrinkly monster down when we get moving, there's no telling who he's going to slap with his trunk.

It has to be that way.

If we don't tie this wrinkly monster down when we get moving, there's no telling who he's going to slap with his trunk.

But now there's Birddogs. Our liner is built-in, so it can't move around. That way, we can leave you room to breathe.

But now there's Birddogs.

Our liner is built-in, so it can't move around. That way, we can leave you room to breathe.

So, trunks up big boy.

So, trunks up big boy.

Size guide CLOSE