GYM SHORTS FOR FREE BALLING CROTCH CRUSADERS

5 Presidential Facts Your History Teacher Left Out

Somebody put these guys on Mt. Rushmore. 

Ulysses S. Grant had a crippling fear of being seen nude.  The first time he pitted a girls cherry - and he hers.

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5 Things to Miss About the Fall (Other than the McRib)

Gently nostalgic and shockingly accurate. 

#1: The ongoing romantic tension of Joke Buck and Troy Aikman.

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How we got bombarded with mildly erotic foreplay on Cyber Monday

We thought Cyber Monday was about deals and steals. 

But some customers took it too far on our help desk.

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How to Master the Fine Art of Name-Dropping

6 Comebacks that'll let folks know you know important folks. 

One time my Uncle muffled a fart on Rocky Marciano on a flight back from Vegas.

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5 Ways to Become an Office Legend in the Bathroom

Sun Tzu's The Art of the Corporate Washroom. 

Work rival on a hot streak? Shell shock him on the shitter.

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8 Facts of 80's Latte Legend Juan Valdéz

Requiring us to honor him with a pair of Gym Shorts. 

Fact #1: Juan was kicked out of Rhode Island, twice.

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The 5 Traits Zac Efron Envies

Socially crippling qualities he wishes he had. 

#1 Male Pattern Baldness: Whigs and headcovers are for the British Parliament and Arabian Royalty.  Lovers don't make basecamp at the top of the mountain, they spend their time spelunking in the caverns below.

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