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The Birddogs Pyramid of Success

How to trapeze your way to the top on a tightrope of lies.
Birddogs pyramid of success.
#1 Get birddogs.

 

 

Finance: You can get a little Ceaser's franchise for like 2k.

 

Workplace Rumors: When well placed, are often more effective than actual performance.

 

JFK: Not him, Jim F. Kurtzman, my neighbor. Guy's the tits.

 

Mating: Why chase a hummingbird when a pigeon will let you walk right up to it?

 

Regret: Who cares, Delta flies direct to St. Barts now anyways.

 

Dip: Calm down and have some dip.

 

Snake Oil: Trust me, if the Winklevosses put money into it, bet the farm.

 

Doctors: $40 copay for you to tell me what I already know? Get real.

 

Underwear: Like putting a condom on a watermelon.

 

Disappointment: Look, I didn't expect this either.

 

John Elway: Please reply to my emails.

 

Co-Ed Friends: Like carrying a full size spare in case you hit a rut.

 

Puppet shows: Surprisingly entertaining.

 

Stamina: She never complains how fast you fix the sink.

 

Baby wipes: You don't need to be rich to live luxurious.