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The Birddogs Pyramid of Success

How to trapeze your way to the top on a tightrope of lies.

Birddogs pyramid of success.

#1 Get birddogs.

Finance: You can get a little Ceaser's franchise for like 2k.

Workplace Rumors: When well placed, are often more effective than actual performance.

JFK: Not him, Jim F. Kurtzman, my neighbor. Guy's the tits.

Mating: Why chase a hummingbird when a pigeon will let you walk right up to it?

Regret: Who cares, Delta flies direct to St. Barts now anyways.

Dip: Calm down and have some dip.

Snake Oil: Trust me, if the Winklevosses put money into it, bet the farm.

Doctors: $40 copay for you to tell me what I already know? Get real.

Underwear: Like putting a condom on a watermelon.

Disappointment: Look, I didn't expect this either.

John Elway: Please reply to my emails.

Co-Ed Friends: Like carrying a full size spare in case you hit a rut.

Puppet shows: Surprisingly entertaining.

Stamina: She never complains how fast you fix the sink.

Baby wipes: You don't need to be rich to live luxurious.

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