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style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003ePaul kicked him out of the enchanted forest after he kept wiping himself with live beavers.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e"},{"id":1514300571723,"title":"The 1 Star Reviews","handle":"the-1-star-reviews","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan color=\"#999999\" style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003eThese shorts always get sh*tty reviews.  Big whoop, we love 1 star reviews. 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#ff0000;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eDo the \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.birddogs.com\/blogs\/the-weekly-bird\/do-the-scuttlebutt-3\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-color: ##999999;\"\u003eScuttlebutt!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003e(It's a dance you idiot).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e"},{"id":10724563524,"title":"The Kerfuffles","handle":"the-kerfuffles","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eWe raised a \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.birddogs.com\/blogs\/the-weekly-bird\/birddogs-raises-114m-series-a-round-to-launch-potato-chips\"\u003e$114m Series A financing\u003c\/a\u003e to launch potato chips.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eWe give you Kerfuffles®. 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#ff0000;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan color=\"#999999\" style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003eHolding hands is this guy's \"first base\". \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan color=\"#999999\" style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003eHe's got a body built for comfort, not for passion.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e"},{"id":11171287812,"title":"Swipe Rights","handle":"swipe-rights","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: 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charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eNamed after a Man amongst Mennonites, Quaker John.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eHis chest hair can be used as steel wool and his urine makes a fine wood varnish.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: 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Birddogs Shorts","id":30421942347,"position":6,"preview_image":{"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":1024,"width":1024,"src":"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0317\/6849\/products\/Gym-Shorts-The-Thrusters-Mint-Green-Navy-Birddogs-Lifestyle-Squash-Standing.jpg?v=1584192365"},"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":1024,"media_type":"image","src":"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0317\/6849\/products\/Gym-Shorts-The-Thrusters-Mint-Green-Navy-Birddogs-Lifestyle-Squash-Standing.jpg?v=1584192365","width":1024}],"requires_selling_plan":false,"selling_plan_groups":[],"content":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eFor the turbo who \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.birddogs.com\/blogs\/the-weekly-bird\/gym-shorts-for-turbos-who-double-down-on-leg-day\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-color: ##999999;\"\u003eloves the gym and has to let you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eI once asked Thruster to borrow his stapler.\u003cbr\u003eHe just lifted up his shirt and showed me his abs.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e"},{"id":4916078020,"title":"The Cattywamps","handle":"the-cattywamps","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cmeta 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style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eFlabongo a canned rosé or tutor underprivileged kids in these class acts.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eWe took the same Birddogs fabric \u003cbr\u003eand seered the suck out of it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e"},{"id":10851107524,"title":"The Hornets","handle":"the-hornets","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan 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#ff0000;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.birddogs.com\/blogs\/the-weekly-bird\/the-hornets\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-color: ##999999;\"\u003eHornets\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e, unlike bees, are nobody's b*tch.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eThey don't give curious bears free honey, they just deliver the pain.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e"},{"id":3679248875595,"title":"The April Big Cannons","handle":"the-april-big-cannons","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eApril was a female war hero from the Battle of Yorktown.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003e(They obviously never wrote about her so we will).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","published_at":"2021-08-09T19:15:57-04:00","created_at":"2019-05-24T10:17:00-04:00","vendor":"Birddogs","type":"","tags":["shorts"],"price":5995,"price_min":5995,"price_max":5995,"available":false,"price_varies":false,"compare_at_price":null,"compare_at_price_min":0,"compare_at_price_max":0,"compare_at_price_varies":false,"variants":[{"id":28631309877323,"title":"Small \/ Short: 6\"","option1":"Small","option2":"Short: 6\"","option3":null,"sku":"BP-C250-S-S","requires_shipping":true,"taxable":false,"featured_image":null,"available":false,"name":"The April Big Cannons - Small \/ Short: 6\"","public_title":"Small \/ Short: 6\"","options":["Small","Short: 6\""],"price":5995,"weight":227,"compare_at_price":null,"inventory_quantity":0,"inventory_management":"shopify","inventory_policy":"deny","barcode":"","requires_selling_plan":false,"selling_plan_allocations":[]},{"id":28631309910091,"title":"Small 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