The story begins

The World's First Khaki Gym Shorts: The Uncle Bucks

Fact #1: Every family has an Uncle Buck

He looks like a werewolf transformation that encountered a loading error at 45%.

Fact #2: He got kicked out the Rajneeshees up in Oregon for being "too into it."

Fact #3: Uncle Buck is hung like a hotel painting.

In that it's crooked and has seen awful things.

Fact #4: Uncle Buck's romance novel was rejected 3 times for overuse of the term "really going to town."