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{"id":11883811460,"title":"Tony Softnuts","handle":"tony-softnuts","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eFor guys that hold coffee mugs with two hands.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: 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16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eFor guys that hold coffee mugs with two hands.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e"}
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style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eNot even the Hoff could handle this ride.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eTime to go all black below the waist.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e"},{"id":362761273,"title":"Billy Budds","handle":"billy-budds","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan 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Shorts","id":806580977739,"position":5,"preview_image":{"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":1024,"width":1024,"src":"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0317\/6849\/products\/Gym-Shorts-Quaker-Johns-Navy-Gray-Birddogs-Lifestyle-Gameboy.jpg?v=1569075794"},"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":1024,"media_type":"image","src":"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0317\/6849\/products\/Gym-Shorts-Quaker-Johns-Navy-Gray-Birddogs-Lifestyle-Gameboy.jpg?v=1569075794","width":1024},{"alt":"Quaker Johns Birddogs Shorts","id":1380667916363,"position":6,"preview_image":{"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":1024,"width":1024,"src":"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0317\/6849\/products\/quaker-johns-gum-1x1.jpg?v=1569195474"},"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":1024,"media_type":"image","src":"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0317\/6849\/products\/quaker-johns-gum-1x1.jpg?v=1569195474","width":1024}],"content":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eNamed after a Man amongst Mennonites, Quaker John.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eHis chest hair can be used as steel wool and his urine makes a fine wood varnish.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #444444;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e"},{"id":4969261764,"title":"The Thrusters","handle":"the-thrusters","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eFor the turbo who \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.birddogs.com\/blogs\/the-weekly-bird\/gym-shorts-for-turbos-who-double-down-on-leg-day\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-color: ##999999;\"\u003eloves the gym and has to let you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eI once asked Thruster to borrow his stapler.\u003cbr\u003eHe just lifted up his shirt and showed me his abs.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e","published_at":"2016-05-23T18:29:00-04:00","created_at":"2016-05-23T18:24:33-04:00","vendor":"Birddogs","type":"Shorts","tags":["fb_category_528","gym pop","original","shorts"],"price":5995,"price_min":5995,"price_max":5995,"available":true,"price_varies":false,"compare_at_price":null,"compare_at_price_min":0,"compare_at_price_max":0,"compare_at_price_varies":false,"variants":[{"id":19437655300,"title":"Small \/ Short: 6\"","option1":"Small","option2":"Short: 6\"","option3":null,"sku":"T-A73-S-S","requires_shipping":true,"taxable":false,"featured_image":null,"available":false,"name":"The Thrusters - Small \/ 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Shorts","id":30421876811,"position":4,"preview_image":{"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":1024,"width":1024,"src":"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0317\/6849\/products\/Gym-Shorts-The-Thrusters-Mint-Green-Navy-Birddogs-Waistband.jpg?v=1568717678"},"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":1024,"media_type":"image","src":"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0317\/6849\/products\/Gym-Shorts-The-Thrusters-Mint-Green-Navy-Birddogs-Waistband.jpg?v=1568717678","width":1024},{"alt":"Thrusters Birddogs Shorts","id":30421909579,"position":5,"preview_image":{"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":1024,"width":1024,"src":"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0317\/6849\/products\/Gym-Shorts-The-Thrusters-Mint-Green-Navy-Birddogs-Lifestyle-Squash-Diving.jpg?v=1568717678"},"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":1024,"media_type":"image","src":"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0317\/6849\/products\/Gym-Shorts-The-Thrusters-Mint-Green-Navy-Birddogs-Lifestyle-Squash-Diving.jpg?v=1568717678","width":1024},{"alt":"Thrusters Birddogs Shorts","id":30421942347,"position":6,"preview_image":{"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":1024,"width":1024,"src":"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0317\/6849\/products\/Gym-Shorts-The-Thrusters-Mint-Green-Navy-Birddogs-Lifestyle-Squash-Standing.jpg?v=1568717678"},"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":1024,"media_type":"image","src":"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0317\/6849\/products\/Gym-Shorts-The-Thrusters-Mint-Green-Navy-Birddogs-Lifestyle-Squash-Standing.jpg?v=1568717678","width":1024}],"content":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eFor the turbo who \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.birddogs.com\/blogs\/the-weekly-bird\/gym-shorts-for-turbos-who-double-down-on-leg-day\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-color: ##999999;\"\u003eloves the gym and has to let you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eI once asked Thruster to borrow his stapler.\u003cbr\u003eHe just lifted up his shirt and showed me his abs.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e"},{"id":10741529860,"title":"Jockey Rockets","handle":"jockey-rockets","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eGym shorts in honor of\u003cbr\u003ethe great \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.birddogs.com\/blogs\/the-weekly-bird\/gym-shorts-for-the-great-american-jockey\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-color: ##999999;\"\u003eAmerican Jockey\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eJockeys are not athletes- \u003cbr\u003ethey ride on athletes.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eThese are gym shorts non-athletes wear.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","published_at":"2017-05-10T15:43:13-04:00","created_at":"2017-05-10T11:06:40-04:00","vendor":"Birddogs","type":"Shorts","tags":["fb_category_528","original","shorts"],"price":5995,"price_min":5995,"price_max":5995,"available":true,"price_varies":false,"compare_at_price":null,"compare_at_price_min":0,"compare_at_price_max":0,"compare_at_price_varies":false,"variants":[{"id":40224736068,"title":"Small \/ Short: 6\"","option1":"Small","option2":"Short: 6\"","option3":null,"sku":"JR-A145-S-S","requires_shipping":true,"taxable":false,"featured_image":null,"available":false,"name":"Jockey Rockets - Small \/ Short: 6\"","public_title":"Small \/ Short: 6\"","options":["Small","Short: 6\""],"price":5995,"weight":227,"compare_at_price":null,"inventory_quantity":0,"inventory_management":"shopify","inventory_policy":"deny","barcode":""},{"id":40224736132,"title":"Small \/ Classic: 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Shorts","id":898306801739,"position":5,"preview_image":{"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":1024,"width":1024,"src":"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0317\/6849\/products\/Gym-Shorts-Jockey-Rockets-Blue-White-Bright-Red-Birddogs-Model-Medium-Classic.jpg?v=1569093887"},"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":1024,"media_type":"image","src":"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0317\/6849\/products\/Gym-Shorts-Jockey-Rockets-Blue-White-Bright-Red-Birddogs-Model-Medium-Classic.jpg?v=1569093887","width":1024},{"alt":"Jockey Rockets Birddogs Shorts","id":898312208459,"position":6,"preview_image":{"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":1024,"width":1024,"src":"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0317\/6849\/products\/Gym-Shorts-Jockey-Rockets-Blue-White-Bright-Red-Birddogs-Lifestyle-Jockey.jpg?v=1569093888"},"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":1024,"media_type":"image","src":"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0317\/6849\/products\/Gym-Shorts-Jockey-Rockets-Blue-White-Bright-Red-Birddogs-Lifestyle-Jockey.jpg?v=1569093888","width":1024}],"content":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #ff0000;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eGym shorts in honor of\u003cbr\u003ethe great \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.birddogs.com\/blogs\/the-weekly-bird\/gym-shorts-for-the-great-american-jockey\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-color: ##999999;\"\u003eAmerican Jockey\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eJockeys are not athletes- \u003cbr\u003ethey ride on athletes.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003ch6 style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 16px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #999999;\"\u003eThese are gym shorts non-athletes wear.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h6\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e"}] ,"learnq": { "categories": ["##Loop Shorts - AUTO","All Shorts","Gym Shorts"], "image_url": "https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0317/6849/products/Gym-Shorts-Tony-Softnuts-Light-Blue-Light-Pink-Yellow-Birddogs-PP_grande.jpg?v=1618403834", "url": "https://www.birddogs.com/products/tony-softnuts", "price": "\u003cspan class=\"money conversion-bear-money\"\u003e$59.95\u003c\/span\u003e", "compare_at_price": "\u003cspan class=\"money conversion-bear-money\"\u003e$0.00\u003c\/span\u003e" } }
Product story panel 1

The story begins

Gym Shorts For Guys Who Use Scissors To Open A Bag Of Chips

Product story panel 2

Tony can parallel park but choses not to.

He doesn't need the pressure of someone potentially honking their horn at him.

Product story panel 3

Tony really likes Chex Mix but avoids it at parties because people like to mix in nuts, to which he is allergic.

It frustrates Tony that people mix in nuts.

Product story panel 4

Tony wrote a letter to the Parks Department to see if people without dogs are allowed into dog parks.

Product story panel 5

Tony’s top 2 favorite foods are white bread and butter.

However, for some reason he doesn’t like toast. Tony can be unpredictable at times.

Size guide CLOSE